Covid Alerts by Country

I take no credit for this article. I don't know where it came from...but I found it funny and besides, we need to laugh. I know which one is my favorite.  

(1) The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

(2) The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastards.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

(3) The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

(4) Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

(5) The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

(6) The Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

(7) The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

(8) The Australians, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend!” and “The Barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

No Knead Bread Recipe

 

Literallly, you do not knead this bread. Asked to describe it, I would say it's similar to a sour dough with a rustic Italian flavor. A dear friend gave me this recipe years ago and, because it's so easy to make and always turns out beautifully, I thought I would share it....I know she will not mind.  The recipe follows:

Ingredients:
3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting
¼ teaspoon instant yeast
1 ¼ teaspoons salt
Cornmeal or wheat bran as needed

Method:
In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours (I leave mine overnight) at room temperature, about 70 degrees. Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with tiny  bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice.

Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.

Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or to your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Cover with a cloth and let it rise for about 2 hours in a warm place. I put mine in a sunny window, but nowadays some ovens have a "proofing" button. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked.

When dough has doubled in size, heat the oven to 450 degrees and put your container into the oven to get warm. You can use Pyrex, pottery, cast iron, etc. but it must have a lid. When dough has doubled in size, transfer to the warm container. You can sprinkle with flour or cornmeal. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 10 to 15 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack and enjoy.